MEMEHUNTER

Danger in the darkness

Heading off for blissful slumber last night, I became aware of something rustling in my room. The noise of paper crinkling under the weight of a lifeform. Of something pushing its body through the detritus on my floor. Signals of a definite, non-human presence.

Now, I live in the top floor of my block of flats. Ok, so that's only three floors up, but still; a little high for a mouse. Straining in the darkness, I heard it again. Sure as hell sounded like a mouse to me. So I turned on the light, put on my glasses and looked around.

There was (was) a large cardboard box near my bed. The noise seemed to be coming from that general direction. As I looked at it (still trying to work out if I was really hearing the noise or not) a spider larger than madness crawled out onto the cardboard. Eyed me pointedly, and scuttled on its way out of the box and into my nightmares.

Now, I'm not exactly phobic. Not technically, but I will admit the point is a semantic one. I do not LIKE spiders. They make me recoil. I walk away from them with great purpose when I see them. I had to rescue a reasonably large spider from the bath the other day; the process took me about 20 minutes, most of which was spent with me staring at the beast and muttering "right". Last night's arachnid was bigger. I mean, huge.

Seriously. If god were a spider, he would be this big.

I had to log on and immediatly get online support from Kathryn . My flatmate came home at 3.30 to find me standing in my room, armed with a kendo sword and a hoover, looking slightly ashamed of myself.

After he finished laughing, he gave me a hand.

We moved the box, but we never found the spider.

Spindly bastard.

posted by Memehunter @ 12:04 PM